"You're so weird - stop it," el squat scoffed at the samoan. "I'm not crying - I'm yawning," the samoan squeaked defensively. They were at the top of Olympic Lady, gawking at the famous KT-22 with Squaw Peak looming behind. In the other direction, Alpine Meadows gleamed with Lake Tahoe shinning in the back. The samoan was definitely being weird, and definitely crying. She had dreamed of Squaw for so long - her happiness converted into tears - she couldn't help it.

Now - sorry if you already read about the sky in our Boreal story, but it needs to be told again. The sky over Tahoe started 2017 with quite the resolution. For years, the snow in the garage had been piling up, and then the closets became full. Ceiling high piles of powder were crammed everywhere in the house. The sky had a problem, a snow hoarding problem. It was time to stop, and turn over a new leaf. With this resolution, the snowpocalypse season for Tahoe began. The sky dumped out massive amounts of snow. The purge felt so good, it became all the sky wanted to do. The last Tahoe story we wrote began on Friday with the sky power-washing its garage. This power-washing led to it being a little gnar-gnar-escobar out on the hill.

The sky used the power-washer like a savage, flooding the basement in the process. So on Saturday, it brought out the big fans to try and save the carpet. This put all the lifts at Squaw on wind hold. The sky didn't know that it was the jerk-of-the-year for doing this, and that no one even has carpet anymore. We can't be mad at the sky - it's just bad at it. Alas, Saturday was a wash, so the trio visited the lake. Which was cool - if you like that sort of thing.

With all this known, it was almost understandable that the samoan was crying with joy on Sunday at 9:15 AM - finally being on the hill she had fantasized about for thousands of years. It was a beautiful thing. Many lifts were still closed due to the idiot wind and the carpet, but they had Snow King, KT-22, and fresh pow. The gang went full on certifiable. At the end of the day, staff was waiting with straightjackets and meds. Nom nom.

That night, the idiot sky left the washer on while it went dancing and met "someone". On a whim, the sky decided to go wine tasting in southern California with this new flame for five days. Meanwhile the washing machine began to nonstop overflow - it was practically a flood in the house. Noah's arc.

Needless to say - the group had to leave if they wanted to do the snowboarding and the skiing. They went to Mammoth (but that's another story for another day). Somehow el squat was lost, and the giant and the samoan returned on Saturday morning to Tahoe sans squat.

Alpine - You're so Fine

A replenished Alpine Meadows greeted the duo on a fine sunny Saturday. They took a race car bed lap, and then a friendo told them that Sherwood would be open by the time they got to the top of Hot Wheels. Say what! Sherwood hadn't been open in a week, and despite the sky's shenanigans - it had been purging snow. They rushed to South Face. Well, the giant had to break trail postholing up to his knees in places (sorry bout it), but it all equaled sweet puffy happy clouds. This heaven was lapped - cat tongue - powder hairball.

The Summit and Bowl chair weren't open, but the samoan had her pockets stuffed with candy - perfect for a Lakeview feast. The rest of the day was spent off the Scott chair devouring freshies, and trying not to end up in the parking lot.

Squaw Seesaw

The sky returned home with a bunch of heat lamps. The southern Cali trip had inspired the green thumb in the sky. The whole house had to be dried out because of the washing machine leak - so the sky thought, "When in Rome." and turned all the heat lamps on full blast. This gave them a jamming beach party down below at Squaw. Hoodie weather, with all the zones except Silverado cranking. The goodness off the Headwall and Siberia had just been waiting - at the doctors office like I'm not taking my pants off. So the duo went to Squaw Peak presenting hospital robes - opening in the back. And it was good. Woof woof woof.

They also got to poke around Solitude and don't call me Shirley. Checking all levels. Yes - it was a day for the books, as they say. Central books.

The giant, el squat, and the samoan barely got to scratch the surface of these two resort king of kings - but they will be back after a good old fashion sky drugging. Thank you for having us Squaw/Alpine!

FUN FACTS

The sky got rid of 600" this season. Go sky! The snow was dumped on Squaw/Alpine and everyone's driveways.

Truckee and Tahoe City residents now have Edward-shovel-hands (its kind of like Edward-40-hands, but shovels are duct taped to your arms instead of 40s). Helpful for eating cereal.

The Audi FIS Ski World Cup festivities started today. The Women's Giant Slalom and Slalom is bringing all the stars. This is the return of the World Cup at Squaw after 19 years of not having it at Squaw. It's going to be a party on the hill - so why drive. Take the free shuttle from the airport at Truckee or the Tahoe City Transportation Center.

Squaw hosted the 1960 Olympics. Also in 1960, JFK became president (of America), Dominos was founded, and the chairman of Coors got kidnapped and murdered for $500,000.

There is an Olympic Museum at High Camp after you take that epic tram ride. To further your education Squaw also has a pool and hot tub at High Camp (8,200').

Squaw is Jeremy Jones' hill. We also know his address, but....... don't worry Jeremy - we're still loving you from afar!

Sob. It was an amazing adventure, and we will dream of you until we return Squaw/Alpine.

THE PURGE OF THE SNOW HOARDING SKY - THE SQUAW/ALPINE STORY