yuri pressing it

The events to come have been recorded and no embellishments have been made. This tale involves a yuri (as in mad yuri), yuri's gentleman caller chris, a veronica veronica, the Hunta power couple (gypsy and shaun), and a samoan. 

chris popping and grabbing   veronica veronica on the side

All of these characters care very much about snowboarding. Like, they would probably give up their homes, happily wear Uggs, or eat their own fingers while they were still attached, if that was the only way they could still snowboard. yuri and chris teach the snowboarding at Mount Snow. They also, conveniently live in Vermont. The rest of the delinquents mentioned above live in Brooklyn. 

the samoan, gypsy, and shaun    photo- yuri

It was decided that everyone would meet and ride for a couple of days at Mount Snow in the first week of December. It was also decided that it would be best to sleep on yuri's floor. yuri lives in a bounce house inside a freezer above a garage. The Brooklyn goons arrived at yuri's on Sunday night. Of course, Tim Slammin tried to come over, but they deflated the bounce house and lied there really quietly. "Did you know that in Norway ranch anything is called cool American?" shaun whispered. They did not. There were endless possibilities for cool American ranch, which the group discussed until they fell asleep.


The next morning the samoan forgot a bunch of things and felt sad about her small brain. The tribe reminded her about snowboarding, which made her happy, and they went to Mount Snow. It was veronica veronica and the samoans' first day of the season. It was also the samoan's first time riding in the east before she rode in the west - so she decided to do things backwards to make sure everything in the world stayed aligned. She spent the chairlift rides on her knees, gave everyone trash bags, and wore ski poles that she just dragged behind her. The samoan doesn't seem to know what backwards means. The crew rode together all day. The snow conditions were excellent for southern Vermont in December. Everyone was joyous and full of song. Not even Tim Slammon could wreck the greatness of snowboarding. Although, he did show up and try (like he always does) to get on the Bluebird lift. He was denied and forced to take another lift. The Bluebird lift does not allow mouth breathers because they might disease the bubble with their hot-sticky-mouth breathing. Also, they are inferior.

veronica veronica and yuri stomping that slow

There was rumor of a great storm from the news on the TV above the bar. Snow was in the air. yuri was forced to serve rich people drinks that night. No one from Brooklyn is allowed in any establishments after dark in Vermont; so the crew went back to the bounce house and chugged wine. They fancy. The gypsy must have taken some crazy fast talking potion because she was non-stop chatter and eventually had to be strapped to the bounce house. 

gyps going all the way

Shaun, inspired by the onion and potato chopping Youtube videos he had been watching at lunch, made dinner. Dinner contained no onions, potatoes, or ranch. 

We called Tim Slammon and told him his house was on fire. Then veronica veronica wowed everyone with her magic fingers and transforming crystals,  and all of a sudden it was morning.

veronica veronica on her ninja   shaun to the side

Day two it snowed a lot. Like two garbage pails full and probably more. The first powder day of the year is a very exciting thing, especially to those in our story. Sweet trackless runs were slayed again and again. veronica veronica re-injured her injury. What was she supposed to do? Not snowboard? Hang out with Tim Slammon? Not an option. yuri took the crew to the woods. They rode over frozen magical mini reindeer antlers. They hopped over streams and slashed their boards with rocks. All with great pleasure, of course. 

yuri filming log slide yuri

Then, the sadness began. The imminent-dark-cloud-horribleness of leaving during a snow storm. Everyone cried and then began the long journey home. It was park-in-the-middle-of-the-road night for semi-trucks in Vermont. Luckily for us, a giant vehicle with a really big shovel led the way around all of the trucks until we made it to New York- where civilized trucks park on the side of the road.

line of street parking trucks   photo- veronica veronica

Abiding by some sort of Russian tradition, the samoan and veronica veronica left the gypsy and shaun at a gas station in the rain and continued on to Brooklyn. A parade was thrown in their honor the next day- no one attended except for Tim Slammon (what an idiot)

yuri taking it back

yuri taking it back